Just a Ghost

sometimes I wonder if I’m real.

If people genuinely don’t see me or notice me or even just acknowledge my existence

or if I’m actually invisible and there is nothing to notice

I wonder if they hear me breathing

or even just hear my cries for help

and if they choose to ignore me or just genuinely don’t know

I just want someone to care. That’s it.

And I know I’m being super unreasonable and stupid but I REALLY feel like nobody does.

Like the seconds are just ticking away and the world is moving on… without me.

And I hate life, I hate life, I HATE life!!

And I can’t get the feeling to stop

I feel like I’m meant to live in the shadow of everyone else’s lives

I can’t stop crying and crying and crying everyday and nobody knows!!!

NOBODY CARES

I don’t even care about myself

how could anybody care for a ghost?

 

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Just a Ghost

  1. adarianqueen says:

    I really relate to the emotions you conveyed here, and a while ago, thoughts like these would just make me enter this seemingly endless spiral of breakdowns.

    Off late, I’ve been more positive, realising that I am indeed, the only person who can truly help me, and care about me. I also realised that what I was feeling was irrational, and there are actually people out there who truly love and care for you.

    I’m still learning, and getting better. I hope you see that too πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bayance says:

    Aww what? You don’t need the validation of anyone else. Everyone cares but sometimes they get caught up with something else and are too busy to tell you. Your worth and story is not based on whether people shower you with care all the time. It starts with you. You can’t change others but you can change yourself. Do the things that make you happy. It’s okay to feel down about it but it’s not okay to sit there and say you hate life without confronting the issue with the people around you. And gurl, you have all of us on WordPress – we care aboutchuu!! πŸ’—πŸ’—

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Bayance says:

    Just realized my previous comment was pretty cliche and not that helpful so let me rephrase it. What I’m trying to say is you are not what people think of you. Your life should not dangle around whether someone says you’re beautiful or that they care. Everyone’s on their own in their journey. Everyone has their own experiences and hardships. Everyone’s on their own in the grave and on judgement day. Although we hate to admit it, we love attention and we love to be cared for but life is not just that. You do not need someone to call you worthy in order to be worthy. You do not need someone to say you’re important in order to be important. Be yourself and do what makes you happy and the right people will care for you. You are so strong gurl. You can survive this.
    P.S. Love your writing and if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here and we all are.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. questionsfromateenager says:

    I’ve had this feeling before. I just felt so, so stuck in this world, in my life. I felt like everyone else was living while I was on the outside, watching. “sometimes I wonder if I’m real.” – me too. Everyone does though at one point or another, I just didn’t know that others were feeling the same way I was. It sucks that you, my soul sister, is feeling this way – I wish I could give you some great advice but…. I think everyone pulls themselves out of it differently. All I can really say is – keep holding on. Hold on tightly to what you love. Don’t let that disappear, even in the shittiest of times. The people in your life, your loved ones – they care, Even though it might not always seem like it. People get wrapped up in their own shit sometimes and forget that others might be struggeling too – so struggle together, work through it together. Being a ghost is sometimes easier than actually confronting those feelings or sharing them with another person, so maybe seek out someone you can talk to? Someone who makes you feel less like a ghost and more like a real human being. Sending you a shit ton of strength and hugs and if you ever need a friendly (soul sister) stranger to talk to, you know where to contact me. x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. thetaleofanunlikelywarrior says:

    Recently I’ve been feeling the same way. My friends ignore me and my grades feel like failures. I feel like a shadow or a ghost. I feel so stuck, like everyone but me has a purpose. I hope it gets better for you as it will eventually for me. (fingers crossed :)) Sending hugs your way …

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Elm says:

    I’ll telly something.

    You are solid and real. People think of you and remember you, even when you’re not talking to them. I remember on Results’ Day, when I asked you what your results were, I felt this sense of anticipation because I care about how you’re doing. You’ve made such an impression on the blogging world and on me as a person: I always look forward to reading your posts and your words; I love talking to you. So many others do, too – the comments on this post just prove that.

    I know how it feels to be swept up in a cacophany of thinking you’re better off disappearing. It’s awful because you feel helpless, lonely and like you can’t reach out. If I can help, even to talk about random shit, I’d be happy to chat to you whenever. If you need to scream your thoughts out onto a post, DO IT. Don’t hold yourself back. This is your safe space and it’s okay to reach out in whatever way you can.

    Love you – we’re here, I promise you that xx

    Liked by 1 person

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