Things I Believed As a Child

Before I start this post I’d like to say a massive happy birthday to BAYANCE!! It’s finally your birthday! I can no longer make fun of you for how young you are (don’t worry – I still won’t expose you😂) We haven’t spoken in a long time but I wish you the best day ever and I hope you spend it just how you want it and that it is full of love and happiness… and cake of course (don’t forget to save me some) This post is for you dude!

Speaking of being young (sorry dude😂) let’s get into the post –

So back in the day when Lil Alex was a youngen (and kinda savage might I add), I believed a lot of shit that my parents and friends told me and the level of STUPID that I was is absolutely breath taking so I thought it would be a great idea to tell you guys so you can all laugh at my stupidity…please don’t laugh at my stupidity…

Thanks Lau for inspiring this idea!

okay let’s get into it!

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Stupid thing Savage Alex believed #1 –

Okay so when I was younger, I LOVED chocolate, Specifically Bounty. Yes I know it’s like the most hated chocolate ever but I loved it okay? If you don’t know what Bounty is, it’s like a coconut bar covered with chocolate….okay it sound way worse when you say it but it was nice!

Now my family is Catholic but my stubborn ass decided to challenge them whenever they wanted me to pray. So to solve that problem, my mother told me that if I prayed, a bounty bar would grow in her car overnight and I could have it.

And BOY, I was up and praying everyday, everynight and whenever the fuck I could. And she was right. The next morning, there would always be a fresh mini bounty bar at the foot of the passenger seat and every morning I had the time of my life. But when I got to the age of 10 I started questioning the logic and my mother cracked under pressure and told me it was a lie. When I tell you I was heartbroken, it is an understatement.

I never knew she could do me so dirty😂

Stupid thing Savage Alex believed #2 –

This awful sin was carried out by my father. He used to tell me that if I watched Tracey Beaker (aka best show ever) for too long then I would turn into one of the characters. I mean, I loved Tracey, but I DID NOT want to be her.

I stopped watching it COMPLETELY and my dad never looked happier. This lie kinda died down when I realised it would involve a who race change to turn into her.

Stupid thing Savage Alex believed #3 –

This one is all my friends doing. I LOVED watermelon. Like so much so I would have it everyday in my lunch box. Noe I don’t know why, but they told me that if you a eat watermelon seed, then you’d grow one inside of you.

Now that one put me off for life. I rarely eat watermelon even to this day and when I do, I make sure I pick out EVERY SINGLE SEED because I’m not tryna turn into a plant – I dunno about you guys.

Now onto a few honourable mentions that didn’t make the cut –

1. Watching tv gives you square eyes
2. Eating carrots gives you X-ray vison
3. The tooth fairy (ugh that’s a whole other story – don’t get me started)
4. Santa Claus (this one really broke my heart)

Anyway that’s it! Apart from that I was a pretty normal kid. Well not really but whatever.

What shit do you guys believe (or your parents lied to you about) as a kid? Lemme know down below!

I hope you enjoyed this blog post and I’ll see you again soon with another one !

Happy birthday Bayance! *COUGH* still wanna know your real name *COUGH*

Love,

Alex – The Awkward Expert🌺♥