Cheers To The Teenage Years (Valentines Day Edition)

Hey Guys,

Happy Valentines day! (if you’re with your significant other, I hope you’re having a great time! If you’re single – don’t worry dudes, love’s not everything…trust me)

Annnd we are BACK again (after how many months?) with another CTTTYs! How are you guys doing? What are you up to? Lemme know because as you all know…I have no life.

I actually spent today with Nadia! We both had no plans today so she came over and we spent Valentines together! It was tonnes of fun but I’ll tell you about everything that went down in another blog post.

Anyway, today I’m gonna give you another look into the awkward mess that is my life butttt add a little bit of LOVE into the equation! Soo..the topic of this post is going to be…

Dates

Ahhh, first dates, young love. Excuse me while I puke a little.

Just kidding, I’m sure it’s awesome, it’s just never happened to me. If you guys are up to date with this blog, you’d know about the whole Jason Fiasco and…*sigh* life is hard you guys.

Now, I’ve never been on a first date myself but I’ve heard QUITE a few stories from a few friends and they sound…brutal to say the least. Today, I’m gonna give you guys a rundown of the three worst first date stories that I’ve ever heard, plus my biggest pet peeves in dates/crushes, along with my ideal first date. Let”s get into it!

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Story Number 1 –

Ahhh, this is the classic “who’s paying?” fiasco. So it’s been a long time since I’ve heard this story, so this is the general gist of it.

So my friends big sister went on a first date with a guy from her college who she thought was really cute. He asked her out and then they agreed to go out on a nice date to a fancy restaurant. When I say ‘fancy’ I mean EXPENSIVE. Like so fucking expensive. The kind where chips are like £20..yeah you heard me. Anyway, so after they ate, it was that awkward silence kinda moment where you wanna know…who the fuck is paying for this shit.

And OF COURSE, the guy came up with the old “I left my wallet at home”…seriously? I thought those lame excuses only happened in the movies. Buttt, turns out the girl wasn’t having it. I guess she didn’t feel like she was at a stage in their relationship to pay for both of them, plus she only bought enough money for herself. So she decided to pay for her meal EXACTLY and go home. Dude when I heard this I was SO SURPRISED. I mean, I’ve heard of guys not paying, but never what happens after that. So I’m kinda guessing that THAT relationship didn’t work out but oh well – plenty more fish in the sea.

Story Number 2 –

I actually read THIS one online a long time ago, but I will NEVER forget it.

So this couple decided to go on a first date to the cinema! Sounds great huh? Well you are VERY wrong. So there two types of people at the movies –

1. normal people
2. the ones who speak over the whole fucking thing with their commentary

I am proudly the second one – what about you?

Anyway so it turns out that the girl is ALSO number 2 – something that the guy did not appreciate. So halfway through the movie, the guy got up to “go to the toilet”, so the girl gladly let him pass and carried on watching the movie.

So 10 mins later…the guys not back. 20 mins later…still not back.

Yeah…turns out he left. He just ditched her. But what he didn’t take into account was that he was bound to see her again as they went to the same university…yeah, I’d hate to be him when he sees her on campus…

Story Number 3 –

Now this one hurt my soul a little.

Now I’m not gonna say who it was but a girl was REALLY looking forward to her first day with this guy. Not only was it her first date with him, but it was her first date EVER.

So they had arranged to meet up at the mall in the food court and she was all dressed up, looking amazing, all ready to knock his socks off.

Now this is where it turned sour.

So as she got to the food court, she noticed him sitting at the food court…with another girl. Turns out he was asking HER out…ON THE SAME DAY HE WAS ON A DATE WITH ANOTHER GIRL. She saw her take his phone and what she’s guessing gave him her number and then smile and leave.

My heart is literally breaking for this girl, but OF COURSE she didn’t go to him. She went straight back home and the guy tried to contact her for days but no reply. It was honestly one of the saddest things I’d heard and I really wanted to cry for the girl – she was looking forward to this date so much it’s actually upsetting.

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Okay so now that I’m done crying (ugh I’m NEVER going on a date) we can move on to my biggest pet peeves in crushes/just people in general –

1. If you smell bad
2. If you have no ambition/drive
3. If you have no manners
4. No respect
5. No fucking decency (I’m talking about the fraudsters of the world – Londoners would understand THIS one)
6. Bad sense of style
7. Bad sense of humour or just not understanding my humour (hello, I’m the worlds most sarcastic human – nice to meet you)

That’s pretty much it. Apart from that, I’m pretty easy to impress – just talk to me about –

1. the weeknd
2. bts
3. aliens

and I’m yours!

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Okay so now that you guys know what I look for in a person, I’m going to tell you about my ideal first date –

I DON’T HAVE ONE

I mean, once again, I’m pretty easy to please. Pretty much anywhere with good food and good company is good enough for me. I’m not a picky gal. Just DON’T be cliche as fuck because as “cute” or “romantic” and people call it, to me it’s just…ew.

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I guess the moral of this post is that it’s okay not to have a date for valentines as a teen. In fact it’s actually totally normal. Maybe you don’t even want one! But if you do, don’t feel disheartened – your time will come, you just gotta wait!

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Okay so that’s gonna be it for this blog post! What did you guys do for valentines day? Lemme know in the comments! I wanna know about your love lives…yes – I’m a nosey bitch.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post and I’ll see you again soon with another one!!

Love,

Alex – The Awkward Expert🌺♥