So right now, I am actually on a train on my way to Paris for Christmas with my family…great(!)
Now I know it sounds like I am being an ungrateful bitch, and in some cases I am being one. But you guys know how I feel about my family and I’m also pretty sure you know how they feel about me so most of the time I try my best to stay as far away from them as possible. But a whole week surrounded by ALL of them?? That’s DEFINITELY going to end in a few tears.
Anyway, that’s not actually why I’m writing this blog post. As you all know, the party was yesterday and…well…I did a few things that I REALLY regret today and sent a few messages that were TOTALLY uncalled for and I feel like I was acting as if I was the depressing teen in a movie trying to get attention…yeah – lemme just tell you all that went down.
Okay so for the whole of yesterday and a bit of the day before, I was on the phone with the birthday girl and texting my online friend stressing out about shit like what to wear and boys and just girly stuff like that which I don’t do a lot. I wouldn’t consider myself to be your typical girl and I promise that if you knew me then you wouldn’t either. I’m just not into a lot of that stuff but when I had to talk about clothes and boys on the phone, it felt like that’s what people were waiting for. Like my mother – when I told her I was going to a party, for the first time in forever, she paid an interest into my life and it was probably the most that we had ever bonded.
I don’t know, maybe I have to give up a little bit of my tomboy side in order to get through to her – what do you guys think?
Anyway, after hours and hours (wow I actually can’t believe I wasted that much time) I figured out what I was gonna wear. I decided on a black tank top underneath an oversized white knitted sweater with big sleeves tucked into a black mini skirt with some ankle boots. Let’s just say that I looked…different from what I normally wear but it’s not like I had any choice – the birthday girl insisted on everyone wearing dresses or skirts. I also added my lucky blue bandana and a few necklaces and bracelets.
Now I’m not gonna lie to you guys and say that I looked like shit. But I AM going to say that when I looked in the mirror, I HONESTLY didn’t recognise myself. I mean it’s one think gawking at yourself in the comfort of your own home, but in the road? Full of creepy people? Now way – not for me at least.
When it was time for me to leave my house, I walked out and one of my neighbours – an old guy came up to me and told me I looked nice. I mean, I know he probably meant it as a compliment (hopefully) but it actually made me feel a lot more self conscious and I actually went back into my house and put on a pair of leggings underneath my skirt to make me feel a little bit more covered up. I know it was against the rules but it made me feel a lot better so I didn’t really care.
Once I made my way there, I met up with my friend – the birthday girl – at the station and we walked to the restaurant where we would be eating before the party. Her parents were VERY protective so they basically followed us the whole time – even during the party but I’ll get into that later.
By the time we got to the restaurant, we had met up with all of her other friends from her school which I DID NOT know at all. It was kinda awkward at first but after the food came, everything felt ten times better. I mean I guess it IS true what they say – food brings us all together.
After eating, a few more of her more…louder friends came in with TONNES of gossip. Apparently, one of the birthday girls closest friends said she couldn’t come to the party because she was busy…well turns out she’s pregnant..PREGNANT AT 15. That’s honestly so mad and I really couldn’t believe it. She doesn’t seem like the kind of person to be so irresponsible and I’m kinda disappointed because I knew her a little bit and she seemed really nice.
Anyway after that…situation, it was time for the dreaded party. So apparently it had changed last minute from a house party to a HALL party because get this – TOO MANY PEOPLE HAD BEEN INVITED. DUDE WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS FREAKING OUT, I WAS NOT LYING. I mean I was already scared enough as it was with the house party but now more people are coming? I guess it must have been make the Awkward Expert have a breakdown day.
When we got to the hall, the birthday girl – let’s call her
asked me to come inside and help her set up. Since she was only planning on having a house party, she didn’t ready buy a lot of decorations and shit so the hall didn’t really seem filled. But she had tonnes of food so that was good enough for me. Once we set up, it turns out her brothers were in the corner the whole time and they we’re going to be the DJs for the night.
I’m not gonna lie, the second the music started playing I freaked out. But after one song, I realised that there was no point in staying quiet and sitting in the corner because
- No boys had arrived yet and –
- It’s gonna be her ONLY 16th birthday so why ruin it?
Anyway, after the second song played which was surprise surprise bodak yellow I started to get up and socialise and I honestly thank god that I did because I met LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GIRL EVER. She was kinda like me and we basically talked and laughed the whole night. Let’s call her
So after a while a few more people came in little by little until the hall was almost full. The music was blasting louder than ever but I was dancing with a group I felt comfortable with so it didn’t matter. For the first time, I didn’t care. Of course her parents came in every once in a while to see how things were going but everything was fine and everyone was having fun.
This is where everything…changed.
So about an hour later, Rae’s more…rowdier friends decided to show up…and they bring alcohol. A lot of it. In the whole of that group, I feel like I am the closest to RAE because we’ve known each other for so long. She because of this fact, she decided to make me in charge of helping her get the alcohol to the punch bowl without her brothers or her parents seeing. In other words – be the one responsible for everyone getting drunk. I really didn’t wanna do it…but it was her BIRTHDAY. I felt like I was under an obligation to meet all of her wishes. So when her parents and brothers weren’t looking, I blocked the view of her while she poured the alcohol into the punch bowls mixing in with the punch that was already in it.
After doing that I already felt guilty enough to last the whole night but I’m guessing my newly found friends didn’t see that as one of them poured me a cup (it was one of those red cups that you see in films and shit) of the alcohol punch and gave it to me. I took the cup but I just held it in my hand. I had no intention to actually drink ANYTHING other than water but when it’s right there, right in front of you, just waiting to be drunk, it’s a completely different story.
Some of you may say I have no resilience…those of you would be right. I drank it. But that’s not even the thing that worried me. When I drank it, it felt…good…weird, but in a good way. I don’t even know if it was enough to get me “drunk” or whatever but it felt nice. But when I finished my cup, it was refilled again…and again..and again and this goes on for a bit. I don’t even know if it was me filling it up or my friends but all I know is that that cup was never empty for more than 10 seconds. After about half an hour, I felt like everyone was feeling thrill effects. The whole scene turned to sloppy dancing and clingy girls and then some.
I’m not gonna say I was completely innocent in this though. But I guess I decided to display my…mood on social media. A bit before the party, Roxy had texted me and I replied with probably the most embarrassing words I will ever speak…and I am the AWKWARD EXPERT. She seemed so confused but I have made her DELETE ALL traces of them because I DON’T wanna be reminded of that day one bit.
It’s not enough that I texted people I physically knew…I also had to text one of my blogging friends…great. Anyway she was NOT having it but I’ve apologised and I’m HOPING we are all cool? (teggs)
It was just so unlike me. I NEVER do shit like this. I mean it was like seeing an introvert gone wild (HINT HINT – NEW BLOG SERIES). Some of the girls even convinced me to go out with them and go “looking for boys to bring back to the party”…WTF? I felt like I was in a fucking teenage movie where the loner chick makes friends and they all lead her astray but it doesn’t matter because love was there all along (!)
So after a few more hours it was getting pretty late and guess what? THE PREGNANT GIRL DECIDED TO SHOW UP. UMMM, I’m pretty sure it was the definition of awkward and all of the other girls ignored her as they had established that they don’t really wanna be associated with her anymore. I felt kinda sorry for her so I spoke to her a little bit but she was kinda rude so I decided not to let her ruin my night and go back to Joy.
We went outside a bit for some fresh air and we just sat and talked. Turns out it was her first party too and she was WASTED. We actually had a lot in common, so we exchanged social media and she looked a bit down so I gave her a pep talk and we headed back into the party. I’m guessing my pep talk worked because when we got back into the party, she started a dance battle against one of the DJs. She started doing mad flips and tricks and it was probably one of the funniest things I’ve seen in my life.
At around 11 or midnight or something, the party was wrapping up and the girl who had brought all of the alcohol came up to me and Rae as we were cleaning up a little with a cup full of vodka. She poured some in both of our cups and Rae downed hers and then pushed her hand underneath my cup so I drank mine. I have to say it didn’t taste how I expected it to. It felt like a fire running down my throat into my stomach and I winced a little at the taste. By then that girl was TOTALLY drunk and stumbling all over the place. I was so surprised when nobody noticed. I have a feeling her brothers know but didn’t say anything.
After the vodka I felt like I was in a world of my own. I wasn’t stumbling, I wasn’t screaming or shouting, I wasn’t tripping over – I was kind of just…being. Like it was me but at the same time it wasn’t. Maybe it wasn’t enough to get me drunk but to make me…happy, which is all anyone can ask for.
I actually walked home with Rae’s brother who is fucking hilarious – I was cracking up the whole time which was a really great way to end the night
Anyway, that’s about it for this blog post and the party. I missed out a few minor details but the post would literally been a full sized book if I included everything so I hope this was enough!
Lemme know what you guys think down below and lemme know if you are excited for my new series introvert gone wild (Liza koshy) reference anyone?) – I am!
I hope you enjoyed this blog post and I’ll see you again soon with another one.
The Awkward Expert🌺♥
ps – I didn’t wanna post this, but I want you guys to know EVERY part of me – even the…”crazy” bits.