Welcome back to CTTTY (yes, I’ve given it an acronym, sue me).
Anyway, today we are going to be taking about…
Today I’m gonna be telling you guys little things that scare us teens, from telling your crush you like them to telling your parents you broke something. Let’s get into it.
Okay first I’m gonna tell you guys a something I did. So you know how I said I would try and be more confident in school and get myself out there more? If you didn’t know you can check out the post here. Anyway, at my school, every year, there is an election to be the head of a house. I have 4 houses at my school and me, attempting to be brave, signed up for the election for the first time in my five years at that school. So I gave in my letter two days ago and since then I’ve been a wreck. The election is a student vote, and as some of you know, I am not the most popular.
The second I gave in my letter I automatically felt a wave of anxiety rush over me. I know I’m trying to get out there, but I am terrified of public humiliation, and right now, for me, the definition of that is losing this election. I know it’s not the winning that counts and I’m happy that I can say I tried, it’s just that losing terrifies me. I don’t now why. I think I have a fear of failure and a few hours ago, I had a full on panic attack and started crying. Stupid I know, but I just can’t deal with losing, especially around people I KNOW want to see me fail. I know that if I lose, I’ll hear a string of laughs and giggles and I KNOW that I’m going to lose so there is no avoiding it. I’m so scared but there is nothing I can do, I think they announce the people going through to the student vote on Monday, and until then, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop thinking about it.
Even if I get selected to go through to the student vote, I know I won’t WIN the student vote, which for me, is even more embarrassing. Lots of people have been telling me I won’t know until I try, but I really think I do. I guess I’d rather do it and know than not do it and forever wonder what could have happened, but I am just so scared. I don’t wanna lose, but it’s inevitable and there is nothing I can do about it. There is a part of me that wishes I’d never applied, but there is also a part that is so proud because I would have never even though about it this time lat year. I guess I’ll let you guys know what happened and how I cope with losing, but I don’t think I’ll forget about it for a long time.
So now I’m gonna mention a couple of things teenagers worry about. Or at least me…yeahh probably just me. Anyways I think I’ll start with…
1. Crushes –
Okay, so I know this is stupid, but I feel like EVERYONE has had this fear at least once right? I am terrified of talking to my crush. Like I mean TERRIFIED. I mean, it helps that he’s a nice guy, but there’s always that little bit of worry when you start conversation first. Also, I could NEVER tell him I like him. Like ever. It’s just one of those cliche things where you think they won’t like you back yada yada yada. I just think I’ll never had that kind of confidence to just go up to someone and be like, “hey I like you” Nah that just isn’t me. But I mean, I’m working on my confidence so maybe I’ll get there eventually, but for now? its a big no no.
2. Grades –
Okay so I’m in year 11 which is the end of secondary school, which means that I have my GCSEs (AKA: The biggest exams of my life so far) at the end of this school year and guys…I am too scared. I mean, I’m not currently failing any classes but it’s just the fear of doing badly. I feel like when you older, you’ve past that stage and you can move in to things you actually enjoy, but right now, it’s really insane how something that in the long run probably isn’t a massive deal (at least that’s what people say) can cause so much distress. Have you guys heard that quote:
“It’s crazy how the rest of your life depends on what you do as a kid”
Isn’t that crazy? Your whole future depends on your childhood. The time when your supposed to be free and have fun. I think it’s so weird that everything you do now matters. Or maybe it doesn’t, but I feel like it has some influence over your future.
3. Peoples Opinions –
They could be from your family, your, friends, or even just randoms strangers, but I sometimes I am scared of what people think of me. I mean it rarely happens because I am fairly comfortable in my skin, but when you are having off days and you’re walking down the street, sometimes it feels like everyone you pass is staring at you and judging you. That can’t just be me who’s experienced that. Sometimes you feel like they are all just staring at you and you wonder why. I mean, I’ll probably never see those people again but I think that makes it worse in my opinion because I’ll never get the chance to figure out what I did and why they don’t like me (or why it feels that way).
Also I get really nervous when showing my work. Like, when I posted a snippet of my book on here, I was TERRIFIED. I feel like when it’s something you are proud of then it’s harder even if one person doesn’t like it, it’s like the end of the world. My art work is something I am VERY private about. I am scared of showing people because I will be crushed if they say it isn’t good. It’s kinda just for me and I feel like it would just make me nervous to show anyone. Do you guys have anything you like keeping to yourself?
4. Looks –
I used to be so self conscious of what I looked like. I literally spent so long looking in the mirror, looking if imperfections that I could change and try and make myself as perfect as I could be. Now, I have gotten better, but I feel like EVERYONE is a little bit self conscious about something or other. It could be your weight, noise, teeth… Whatever it may be, you automatically feel so conscious about it and try and hide it. I feel like, once YOU stop caring as much, then there isn’t anything somebody could say or do to make feel bad because the feature doesn’t bother you anymore. You get what I mean? I don’t really know if that made sense or not but I guess what I’m trying to say is loosen up! Just forget about it. Try it for one day and then you’ll realise that the only person worrying about it is you and that to really isn’t a big deal. There’s also nothing wrong with wanting to change, just make sure you do it for you and not for the approval of others.
5. The Future –
Now I like to think I have my future planned out pretty well…but that would be a lie. I have no freaking clue. I mean I have a general idea but it’s just so hard to narrow down the rest of your life to just one profession. I feel like this is the time for us to be free and not to worry but it’s really hard because there is so much pressure put in us my school and family and by ourselves to just figure out your whole life now. It’s the time to adventure and have fun and fall in love and be crazy and hang out. I know it sounds like a movie but these are the best times of our lives, so why waste them worrying about the future? From now on, I’m going to try my best to be impulsive and free and just have fun! Do what I wanna do, when I want to do it and for as long as I wanna do it, because, when your time is over, it’s the things you don’t do that you regret. I challenge you guys to try it as well. Have fun and lemme know what you get up to!
Anyways that was a few of the things that scare me as a teen. There are many more but this post would be REALLY long so I might do a part 2 if you guys want.
Remember , live life to the fullest, have fun and fulfil your purpose,
I’ll see you guys soon in another blog post!
Remember – cheers to the teenage years🤘
The Awkward Expert🌺♥