Midnight Talks


Hey Guys!

I just want to welcome you guys to the first edition of this new series that I’m starting called Midnight Talks! So this is going to be a bit all over the place so I’m just going to be doing random things that happen at night, giving you all my opinions on some topics and just telling you guys what I think about really late at night. So if you guys have any questions or topics or ANYTHING that you would like me to answer then please comment them down below! It would be much appreciated.  If you don’t feel comfortable with commenting, you could email me at myawkwardblog@outlook.com and stay anonymous if you would like, but nonetheless it would mean a lot.

Also I’m gonna be posting these at midnight so that it adds to the feel you know? I write these at midnight the night before so it’s not like I’m in the middle of the day and I’m lying to you… I’m actually in the park right now and it’s like..1:00 am. I’m leaning against this tree and I just had to get away from my house for some fresh air.

I do this most nights. I really like nature and it’s nice to get away when nobody is around. It means you can basically do whatever you want. I mean nothing illegal because that bad (or so I’m told).

Alright, what should the topic of the first Midnight Talks be?… Sorry guys, I never plan my posts in advance, I just sit down and do it. I’m starting to get better though! I have an award scheduled for Tuesday night so be ready for that!

Before I continue, I thought I would tell you guys how and why I came up with and started this series. A while ago I was looking up background for my computer and I typed up ‘Midnight sky’. After scrolling for a good… hour?, I found a quote that said :

Late night conversations make you learn a lot about people’

After thinking about it for a while, I realised it was true and I wondered if having some late night conversations with you guys would help you learn more about me, but more importantly, me learn more about you guys! Also, I’m pretty sure the quote didn’t mean 1:30 in the morning but I was here anyways so I thought why not? What’s the latest you guys have stayed up? Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you guys that I have officially had an all nighter! I’ve actually crossed off a lot more things on my bucket list so I’m gonna have to do an update on that since summer is now officially over… woohoo(!)

Oh my.. Guys I was legit just taking a quick break to check my phone and I swear I just saw a fox!! Urghh this never happens and now I’m paranoid! Well…if this post never goes up then at least you know why… Wait but if it never went up then how would you know?…Okay moving swiftly on!

Okay so you guys know the story of my first real crush right? If you don’t I’ll leave a link right here. So that was around about…1 and a half, 2 years ago? I haven’t really liked anyone since but….dude I have something to tell you…I think you can tell where I’m going with this…wow I love ellipses…off topic…guys I like somebody again! I’ve actually liked him for some time now, but I wanted to make sure that I actually liked him and it wasn’t just a spur of the moment 5 minute crush you know?

Anyway, I’m probably going to be talking about him a lot in these midnight talks so we might as well give mystery man a name right? So his name for my blogs, or at least just these midnight talks will be….


So since it’s a brand new year, I got all new classes, teachers, all that jazz and this year, Jason is in pretty much every single one of my classes. Like WHAT? It’s kinda creepy like I think I only have about 2 classes without him but I always have at least 2 with him everyday, and they are ALWAYS double periods. He sits next to me in quite a few and for me it’s just sooo awkwarddd. I feel like I’m always just smiling and that NEVER happens. It’s like I’m his personal cheerleader. He doesn’t even have to say anything and I’m smiling. He could literally just look at me for a second and I would lose my mind. I don’t think it’s as obvious as the way I’m making it out to sound, but that’s just the way that it feels to me. Do any of you guys ever feel that way about crushes? Lemme know because I feel like such a weirdo!

By the way, are any of you cheerleaders? That must be super cool. We don’t really have cheerleading where I’m from so I only ever see it in movies and stuff and I watch A LOT of movies so I kinda feel like an honorary cheerleader by association. If you are lemme know how is! I’d love to hear.

Back to my story – We talk a lot in class but I feel like even if he did like me back, then I would be too much to handle. Not like I’m too good for him, I feel like he would be too good for me. I mean, I’m an emotional wreck and I feel like I would bring him down and I really don’t wanna do that because he is one of the happiest people I know. I actually had a panic attack in front of him and he was being so nice, asking how I was and offering me tissue and I was balling my eyes out right there. I could tell he didn’t know what to do but the fact that he was so concerned really made me feel bad. After that I always felt really uncomfortable around him, but when this year started, I tried my best to stay calm and forget about what had happened and it worked wonders. We talk almost  everyday but I…I just don’t know what to do. I mean I know it’s only the start of the year but he’s everywhere I turn! I feel like I just need to go with the flow and see where it takes me.

Ahhh anyway, I always thought the sky looked so pretty at night. I think it’s so weird that somehow, there’s other planets out there and there could be millions of other life forms that are just waiting to be discovered. If only it wasn’t taking so long. Sometimes, I don’t want them to be found, because I know that if they are, they are just going to be tested and tested and it’s just cruel. Now I’m not saying that I believe in all of theses aliens and UFOS and stuff but there is a pretty big possibility that it could all be real. What do you guys think about all of this extraterrestrial stuff? I mean, I was watching a few videos on YouTube and they were fake for sure but I feel like they could be out there somewhere.  I just hope their nice!

Oh wow it’s 2 am for me. Damn time goes so fast when I do this. Some of you guys may be thinking I’m freaking crazy, why am I outside at this time…It’s nice OKAY? Don’t knock it till you try it. Although I don’t really recommend it. I live in a pretty safe neighbourhood and nobody is really out past midnight so I kinda just got used to it.

Last Monday at school, we had a lesson about life after school. We started thinking about our applications and I was just…It just clicked to me that it was going to be my last year of school. No more uniforms, no more set breaks and lunch. I mean I’m still going to college and then hopefully university but it just felt so surreal. Like it felt like I just started school and now I’m in my final year? It’s crazy, time goes so fast.

So I’ve been thinking about what I would like to study, and I realised that there isn’t really a lot of option and variety. So I would like to maybe pursue Film studies, photography and phycology. I know, random mix, but I feel like those are the options that  just stood out to me and I usually just like to go with my gut feelings. If any of you are in your last year of school or have already been through, lemme know how you’re coping because right now I’m struggling to come to terms with it.

Can anybody recommend a good book for me to read? I haven’t read a good one in a long long time so I would love to get back into it. I’m kinda into darker stories with plot twists. If anybody had some good recommendations then that would be great!

Also I’ve been thinking of redecorating my room but me being the lazy fucker that I am have not even thought about what I would like changed because I’ve been super busy. I kinda wanna change the colour because right now it is a dark purplish which is really nice, but it just isn’t really my scene anymore. But I think I would just like to cover up the rules with all of my drawings and photography. 1- So I don’t have to see the walls and 2- so that I get to be surrounded by my work!

I thought that in this series I would give you my opinions of certain things. If you guys have anything you want be to talk about then please let me know, I’d be more than happy to talk about it because, I’m sure you can tell, I have no filter and we can start with all of that in part 2!

I think of a lot of crazy shit at night so I thought I would tell you guys some of it.

I find it so weird how I can be falling asleep now and at the same time, someone could be waking up starting a brand new day. This started when I was on holiday because I was a couple hours in front of where I’m from so when I would be about to go to dinner they would be going to lunch and things like that which I always found strange. Like right now, it could be a different day for somebody. That’s crazy.

Also this next one might only apply to some of you, but I’m left handed and apparently so is only 7-10% of the world. That makes me feel SOO COOL. Sometimes at night, I just think “hmm.. there’s only 7% of us. We’re so awesome”. Like I know it’s corny but there is something about knowing that that is very satisfying. At night I like to think of left handed people writing and I just smile. Okay, I’m weird MOVING ON!

Right so this next one is interesting. So I speak English (well duh) and I learn French in school. At night I wonder if French people learn English the way that I learn french. Like do they have a language class called English were they try and learn English the way that I have a french class to try and learn French? This is soo trippy but it also applies to the rest of the world too. Do they have classes trying to learn English the way that we do trying to learn their language? Lemme know what you think of this because it’s always made me wonder

On that note, I think this concludes the first in the series of Midnight Talks. It is now officially 2:45 and I gotta skate back home before anyone notices I’m gone. I actually really enjoyed writing this. I feel like you did learn a lot more about me. Now it’s time for me to learn about you! I asked a few questions while I was writing above so feel free to answer them! I would love to get to know you more.

Also, please don’t forget to leave any topics or questions you want me to give my opinion on or answer. It would make this a lot more interactive and that’s what I wanna do.

I do hope you guys enjoyed this post and do let me know what you thought of it!

See you at Midnight!🌙


The Awkward Expert♥🌚

8 thoughts on “Midnight Talks

  1. Bayance says:

    YASSSSS GURL! I loved how you added lots of topics like I CANT WAIT FOR MORE! I love how you did different topics on whats been on your mind. I pulled so many all-nighters in the summer but the longest ive stayed was probably 8 am then I sleep. Idk if that would counts tho lol. Remember when I thought the fox ate you 😂 I would be so paranoid to be out at night. 5 minute crush 😂😂😂 Thats so me. And gurllll you and Jason are actual goals. I was dying when you told me he offered tissues for the first time like imagine you were hyperventilating and he was like “would you like some tissues?” and you’d be like “should I stuff them in my mouth?” 😂😂 That would be me but it was probably if you were crying. And yesss omg but I haven’t had a huge crush in like 3 years but I would like smile every time he would be around like it was just a natural instinct so no you’re not weird. 😂 And if it was weird, then I’m guilty too. Ooh I also kinda believe in like other creatures. We never know like there’s so many species we didnt discover. And on the space note, people are honestly just wasting their time with the Mars project. We wouldn’t last long there so we should just enjoy our time on earth and spend that money on planting trees and helping poverty. I might also get into physcology. But more of a high school ‘need advice’ physcaitrist and not really dealing with rehab or special needs. Altho helping special needs would be amazing but I don’t think I’d handle it well if that makes sense. GURL I told you about those 2 books but you didn’t read them 😂😂 soo if you ever pick one up, I’ll give you new book recommendations. (btw they were ‘The Best Possible Answer’ and ‘Antisocial’ in case you forgot. Dont worry im a gramma too 😂) OMG SAME HERE. I also wonder how some people who don’t understand english hear it. Like they must think I’m weird 😂. Is it like being in a chinese or spanish class? Like with all the different writing or language. And OMG I’m so bad at writing with my left hand. I once broke my right arm and had to write with my left for a month like I thought I would take a break off school but nope 😂😂 And that wraps it up. Sorry for the long comment 😂 Wow I literally wrote an essay. Btw I’m going to write a blog about Saying Yes (like to opportunities and stuff) but I would love to see your take on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aboutmyawkwardworld says:

      Ahhh it’s the mother of all comments😂 Thank you so much! That all nigher was so hard for me to do! Urgh don’t remind me of that Jason moment, it makes me cringe everytime. You should definitely get into phycology, I feel like your advice would be bomb. Thanks for the book suggestions (I know you gave me some but I want moreee😂) Right?? The language one has been on my mind for a REALLY long time so I’m glad it’s not just be wondering. Thanks for this long ass comment😂🌙

      Liked by 1 person

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